Daily Virtue

Between my shifts at work, I drove over to the library yesterday to finish up my paper which I finally had a breakthrough on writing... Only to find that it wasn't open until 1 pm. How frustrating! Well, lucky for me, I found out that there's a Catholic church a couple blocks down with Perpetual Adoration, so thanks be to God for making an even better day out of my Wednesday.

I went into the chapel and opened up the browser on my phone to BlessedIsShe's daily devotion, which all you ladies should check out. The day's reflection was called On the Journey based on Luke 9:1-6 and asked, "How is God calling you to proclaim the Kingdom?"

Honestly, this has been a question I have been struggling with myself lately. I have been struggling to find my worth in the Lord when I haven't been able to serve His Kingdom in an intentional ministry. I work a job with crazy hours and find myself with a couple hours in the afternoon to work on school work and then a couple in the evening to try and relax and prepare for my next 4:30 am wake-up call.

As I was driving home this week, a phrase came to me about what I'm gaining from this semester at home: daily virtue. I am constantly doing the opposite of what I want to do. I do not want to wake up at 4:30 to make it work on time. I do not want to make my bed before I've even had time for coffee. I do not want to pray a Rosary in the morning when I barely have the brain cells to form sentences. I do not want to work on my school work during my break from work.

More than anything, I do not want to answer this call I have to love others unceasingly. It is so difficult to love my mom when I'm exhausted and dinner isn't ready yet. It is so difficult to love my students' parents when they come to pick them up long day and get frustrated because I have to tell them they have a late fee on their account. It is so difficult to love my friends when I've had a long day and so have they and they call me needing to vent about it and all I want to do is turn my brain off. Sometimes it feels like I am up to my eyeballs in the love I know I need to give to others. I am in a battle with myself to fight this sour attitude I so easily fall into.

But. BUT.