Refusing the Lie

What's the lie that you believe?

When you're by yourself, in the shower, your car, about to go to bed, what lie creeps into your mind? What words do you hear yourself repeating that continue to tear you down?

"You will never experience sisterhood."

I stood in my shower this evening, scrubbing my conditioner into my scalp, feeling the scalding water bead down my back. As the water washed over me, the lies continued to wash over me in waves as well.

"God didn't give you a sister as a child because you weren't created for sisterhood."

"You live by yourself because you don't deserve to experience life lived with other women."

"You won't ever experience the deep relationships of sisterhood."

"The relationships you have with other women are not made to last. They do not stand firm."

"If you have daughters, you will fail them as a mother because of this."

The Measuring Stick of Success

Someone I know recently asked: How do you measure success?

One person suggested that they would see themselves as successful when they were featured on Ellen. I found several other people suggesting that success came with happiness.

After this week, I'm not so sure that I would fit my definition in either one of those categories when it comes to success.

Looking into my life from the outside, I am by no accounts successful. I am working a seasonal job at Target. I live with my parents. Yep, I just put that out there and I hate it. It makes me grit my teeth to admit where I am in my life right now. It has left me in a period where I have had to make strides to overcome self-pity along with self-hate. I have had to make strides to see that this point in my life is not a measure of my success.

So here I am again, walking my parent's dog and asking myself: How do I measure success?

Ellen? Happiness? Fulfillment?